Monday, January 23, 2012

Mr. Jerk goes on a holiday

We're our own worst critic. We may not live in the space of self-criticism all the time, but we often fail to recognize and/or celebrate our awesomeness and accomplishments. Sometimes when others celebrate this in us, we shy away and distance ourselves from praise. Do you stand in the glory and bask in praise or achievement? Do you reward yourself for moving towards a goal? If you already do, fabulous! You're one of the awesome few, because most people don't. They shirk positive feedback, thinking that if only people really knew the truth, that they just got lucky.

As a coach, I meet all kinds of critics. They are also known as: gremlins, saboteurs, jerks, whiners, and sometimes a two syllable cuss word. They're that little voice stuck in your head that says you're never gonna amount to anything, your idea is stupid, you're a failure, you're wasting your time, you're not good enough. And to be fully honest, when I get on a coaching call, I'm looking to coach my client, not their inner jerk. A technique that I use is to send the jerk on a holiday. Yup, we envision a tantalizing place for their jerk to go visit - sometimes it's fly fishing, a tropical holiday, a cooking class in Italy. Cya later, jerk! 

We are creating a space to do whatever it is you want to do or say or dream without having that jerk around saying it's impossible. On a call earlier this week, I sensed my client was avoiding saying what it was they really wanted to dream. When I asked my client about this obvious avoidance, they said their idea was stupid. Voila, the coaching transformed into, "I'll be a stupid coach and you can be a stupid client and we'll spend our time being stupid together." Translation: I give you permission to say whatever it is on your mind, free of your own criticism/jerk. It is amazing what transpires as a result. My client was able to brainstorm the possible, instead of living in the "can't," "shouldn't,"  and the nefarious "I suck" place. 

My goal (actually, I spelled gaol first, which is appropriate) is to imprison my jerk. I'm going to create a collage/art piece to trap my inner jerk. And put it in a corner. It will remind me that I've got that *bleep (two syllable cuss word) trapped and cornered. When I've done this, I'm going to create a vision board of the things I want to accomplish and experience in the next five years, mindful that the jerk was not a part of creating this vision, so the sky is the limit. 

If you could banish your jerk, where would you send it? What is possible in your life without the lies and sabotage it manifests in your head? Who could you be, in all your greatness and awesomeness? 

I can't wait to find out! 

1 comment:

  1. Didn't we have a name for my jerk at some point? (well, besides the obvious other jerks in my life ;) hehe) I think you came up with a name. Well, apparently he is so far gone that it's possibly good not to remember. However, I do remember he looked like a gnome... Thanks for the post my dear!